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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25385419">a quick taste of forever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenkmyers/pseuds/laurenkmyers'>laurenkmyers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Affairs, Alley Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Hopeful Ending, Infidelity, M/M, but mostly canon divergence, multi-chapter, on-going story, sort of canon compliant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:55:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25385419</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenkmyers/pseuds/laurenkmyers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The affair that never was. A few moments thrown into the canon-verse where Ben and Callum find time to explore their newfound connection.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Greatest Romance Ever</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Forever bitter we didn't get more sneaking around to be with each other. So here's my take on how it happens. Canon up until the Callum/Whitney engagement announcement at The Vic. </p><p>(I also saw a piece of artwork of them kissing in the infamous alley and wanted a story to go with it- here's the art that inspired this fic: https://josephgraham.tumblr.com/post/186604388505/waiting-for-that-vic-alleyway-kiss-every-affair)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Vic feels rowdy tonight, especially after Callum announces his and Whit’s engagement. The crowd buzzes with excitement. <i>To Callum and Whitney!</i> They shout enthusiastically as they all raise their glasses in a toast to the happy couple, everyone joins in- well, almost everyone.</p><p>Ben sneers at the punters playing right into the facade. Callum’s got them all fooled, but most annoyingly, he almost looks like he has himself fooled too, until he captures Ben’s heated gaze amongst the sea of people, as he always seems to. Ben tilts his glass in mock celebration and winks devilishly back at him. There’s a fire in his eyes. Teasing.  Taunting. But the jealousy is written all over him. He’s <i>seething</i> with it. He hopes Callum can feel it.</p><p>Callum finds Ben immediately, he wants him to watch. Callum takes a long gulp of his beer; his eyes never once leave Ben’s. The jealousy rolls off Ben in waves. Callum is hit by it all too suddenly. The thought scares him for moment, before he realises it doesn’t scare him at all. It <i>excites</i> him.  He likes seeing Ben this way. Wound up tight because he can’t get what he wants, and what he wants is Callum.</p><p>After their earlier encounter in the toilets Callum is still on edge, hyped up, anxious, but slightly giddy- despite the way he’d stormed off. All for show. He can’t stop thinking about the way Ben had crowded him in; the way his heart skipped several beats the moment their eyes locked, the way his stomach fluttered unnaturally, and the way his trousers definitely tightened. He wants Ben. No, he wants Ben <i>again.</i> Can’t even convince himself to deny it anymore.</p><p>That night in the park had changed his life. The moment their lips first touched made Callum realise he’d denied himself so much. The rough scraping of Ben’s stubble on his chin had lit a spark from deep within him, a blazing fire scorching everything in its path to claw its way to the surface. The deep, grumbling noises he coaxed from Ben’s mouth as he tugged and pulled at Ben’s clothes- so eager for a taste-it made his legs buckle. The cold, forceful hands he felt slip under his shirt as he pushed Ben onto the park bench made him dizzy with need. The taste of whiskey that lingered on Ben’s tongue, he lapped at it enthusiastically with his own, a heady combination that tingled up his spine. Their mingled breath weighed heavily on his heart.</p><p>Callum had never felt so <i>alive.</i></p><p>He craves that feeling again. Thought he could force it out of Whitney by adding another depth to their relationship. But the thought of touching her now seemed so empty in comparison.</p><p>The jealousy he sees still red-hot in Ben’s eyes make him desperate for it. He tears his eyes from Ben, after what feels like a lifetime, and turns to his new fiancé kissing her on the cheek, his mind is made.</p><p>“Just remembered I left my wallet in the flat, gonna nip back and get it- won’t be long.” He says.</p><p>“Oh? You sure? It’s not like you’re gonna need it, all our drinks are being paid for.” Whitney says, smiling at him.</p><p>“Yeah, but- you know how anxious I get without it. Just in case.”</p><p>“Alright babe, hurry back to me.” She says, pulling him in for a quick kiss on the lips. As he’s about to pull away he catches Ben watching them from across the room again, did he ever stop? His eyes cloud over, a red mist descends.</p><p>Callum’s insides liquefy.</p><p>Before he can admit defeat he rises quickly from the ashes, deciding then and there that he <i>really</i> likes the way Ben look’s right now and decides to utilise his new found confidence in his favour. He deepens the kiss, plunging his tongue inside Whitney’s willing mouth. He cups her neck in his hand to pull her further into him, putting on a show just for Ben. He knows his plan has worked the moment he sees Ben’s hand clench tightly around his glass- but, stubborn asshole that he is, Ben refuses to look away.</p><p>Callum thinks he can dance in the flames without getting burnt. How wrong he is. He pushes Whitney away a little too abruptly and she stares up at him dazedly, saying something he doesn’t quite hear as his ears start ringing. He turns and heads towards the door, subtly nodding at Ben- a signal that he should follow.</p><p>Callum doesn’t turn around, doesn’t need to- he knows Ben is following him, only to have it confirmed when he feels rough hands grab him and push him through the Vic gate. They don’t stop until they’re covered by darkness, deep into the alley, and then suddenly his back is being slammed against the brick wall and Ben is on him.</p><p>“You really know how to wind a man up, don’t ya?” Ben huffs out a deep breathe, his hands firmly gripping Callum’s lapels and his lips hover dangerously close to his own.</p><p>“Dunno what you mean.” Callum whispers back, the up-tilt of his lips calling him a liar.</p><p>“Your little show back there, kissing ya missus, whilst eye-fucking me across the room? What was that all about, eh?” Ben forces his knee between Callum’s thighs and waits for the inevitable whimper to escape Callum’s mouth, “Thought this weren’t your scene?”</p><p>Callum is at a loss for words. He closes his eyes and takes a second to enjoy the way Ben’s knee is grinding into his obvious erection and he lets himself fall into it, the friction causes his legs to shake. He’s suddenly thankful that Ben’s weight and the wall behind him are keeping him upright. When he opens his eyes he notices Ben watching him carefully, his tongue swipes over his bottom lip, tempting Callum’s attention before it dips back inside Ben’s slightly open mouth.</p><p>“Maybe I changed my mind.” Callum sighs, before he grabs Ben’s head in both hands and hauls him into a kiss, taking back control. He wastes no time enticing Ben’s mouth open with his teeth before he plunges his tongue in, finding Ben’s. This kiss is very much like their first, it’s hot and messy and full of fire. You fly too close to the sun, you get burnt- but this is one instance where Callum relishes the blistering heat with open arms, or in this case, open mouths. Eventually, the kiss slows, but it’s no less intense, until finally they’re just breathing hot air into each other.</p><p>“Come back to mine.” Ben pleads, as his breath comes back to him in short puffs.</p><p>A moment passes between them as Callum considers the offer. He trails his thumb over Ben’s swollen bottom lip and sighs, the want is rife, but his common sense comes back to him far too quickly.</p><p>“I can’t…” his face falls, “…got an engagement party to go back to.” Ben’s expression hardens at the reminder. And all Callum wants to do is wipe away the split second of hurt he caught on Ben’s face.</p><p>“But I want to.” He says eventually, tilting Ben’s eyes up to look at him. “I want this, Ben. I want <i>you.</i>”</p><p>Ben shivers at the admission and the hurt he initially feels at Callum’s denial is stripped away, his usual bravado firmly back in place.</p><p>“How ‘bout a parting gift then, till next time?”</p><p>Ben drops to his knees, tugging at Callum’s belt- letting actions speak for themselves as he unzips the offending garment and pulls Callum out.  </p><p>“Ben- what are you-” Ben looks up at Callum from his position with a smirk, holding eye contact and the power, before placing a hot, wet kiss on the tip, silencing any further questions.</p><p>“Just want a quick taste.” He says between licks, “I missed it.” He whispers, blowing hot air over the head of Callum’s weeping cock, before wrapping his lips around the end, hollowing his cheeks and swallowing him down in one. The back of Callum’s head hits the brick wall so hard he sees stars. <i>God, he missed that mouth.</i></p><p>Ben works him up and down for a few minutes, moaning filthily around him like he’s enjoying this more than Callum is, and the thought sends shockwaves through Callum’s entire body. Here he is getting his dick sucked- by Ben Mitchell, no less- in a dirty alleyway where anyone can walk past, his fiancé just meters away, and he doesn’t even care- wants this more than he’s wanted anything in his entire life.</p><p>Ben Mitchell and his glorious mouth make him weak. He can’t think straight- there it is again- that word: straight. Something he knows deep down he most definitely is <i>not.</i> But he doesn’t have time for a sexuality crisis right now as his orgasm quickly approaches. A few more slick thrusts into Ben’s mouth and Callum is done for. He doesn’t even have time to warn Ben before he shoots his load down Ben’s throat.</p><p>Ben swallows every damn drop with a sinful groan, licking his lips clean as he stands and tucks Callum back into his trousers before pulling him into a final kiss. Callum whimpers, chasing the taste of himself on Ben’s tongue. But Ben pulls back far too quickly.</p><p>“Come find me when you’re done with this charade.” He says, as his thumb swipes over the remnants of Callum that escaped his lips. “Enjoy the party.”</p><p>Ben saunters away without looking back, leaving Callum panting against the wall, utterly wrecked.</p><p>
  <i>Fuck.</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. until next time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Round three? Callum can't stop thinking about Ben.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Now that the police are off his back, Ben is back in business at the car lot, another deal done and dusted. All paperwork signed and dated. He’s about to pack up for the night and head home when the door to the car lot swings open and Callum walks in, slightly flustered and tie all askew. He looks good enough to eat Ben thinks.</p><p>“Alright, lover boy? Changed your mind again have ya? One minute we’re getting all hot and heavy in the park, then behind The Vic, and the next you’re telling me we’re done. Come for round three after all?” Ben goads placing both his feet on the table and leaning back in his chair- confidence oozing from every pore in his body.</p><p>Callum stares over at Ben with a mixture of anguish and lust in those baby blues, his heart rate spikes at the offer being laid out before him. His head is screaming at him to run and go back home to Whitney- his fiancé, but his gut is begging him to stay. <i>Stay with Ben. </i>He starts pacing the length of the cabin. </p><p>Eventually he tries to speak, but the words get lodged in his throat. All Callum knows are his conflictions. He wants to be happy with Whitney; he thinks he <i>could</i> be happy with her. But he can’t seem to get Ben out of his head. Every time Whitney kisses him he thinks about how her lips are too soft, too glossy, too sweet. When all he wants is the heat of rough lips, the open mouth, the messy tongues, and the scrape of teeth. He craves the kisses he can only get from this man in front of him.</p><p>Ben watches the conflict of emotions flicker over Callum’s face; he slowly stands and walks over towards where Callum has now planted himself and gently grabs him by the arm to let him know he’s there.</p><p>“So, which one are you tonight Callum- you hot? Or you cold?” Ben says, and Callum looks at him, the agony evident in his knitted brow. Ben runs his palm down Callum’s arm and lets it linger on his wrist.</p><p>Ben takes the silence as the latter and steps back, making the distance between them wider.</p><p>“I ain’t gonna force you to do something you don’t wanna do, Callum. I’m not that guy.”</p><p>Callum looks at him then, eyes soft and sincere.</p><p>“I know you ain’t, Ben- I just- can’t seem to get my head straight.” He sighs, defeated.</p><p>“I don’t mean to state the fucking obvious here Callum, but that’s exactly the point-you <i>ain’t</i> straight. And that’s okay. I know exactly what you’re going through, and I’m here for you in any way you want me to be. But ask yourself this, why exactly did you come here tonight?” Ben asks bluntly- all cards on the table.</p><p>It’s now or never in Callum’s eyes. The decision is on the tip of his tongue and he blurts out:</p><p>“Because I can’t get you out of my head.” Callum can’t seem to stop the words from escaping so he continues, “I-I think about you all the time. Whenever I’m with Whit it feels wrong, Ben- I’m supposed to love her, I <b>do</b> love her- but it feels wrong.” He tries to say more, overcome with a need to be honest for once, but he’s silenced with a finger to his lips. Callum’s spine knots together and a warm tingling sensation runs down the perfect curvature.</p><p>“And when you’re with me?” Ben asks tentatively as he traces his thumb over Callum’s bottom lip. “Does this feel wrong?”</p><p>Ben senses the way Callum immediately melts into his touch- he has his answer, so he lifts his hand once again to cup Callum’s face. Just like he did that first time in the park.</p><p>“I’ve never felt anything like this before.”</p><p>And then they both fall into it again; like it’s the simplest thing in the world. Like they were meant to be doing this, here, now. Just the two of them. Ben rocks into Callum, and Callum advances right back. They’re kissing, and it’s the best feeling in the world. A loud moan rips its way through Callum’s throat and he pushes forward until Ben’s knees hit the couch and they’re both clumsily falling into it. They break apart upon landing, lean their foreheads together, and just breathe before immediately diving back in- unable to be parted for too long.</p><p>Then the heavy petting starts, Callum has somehow manourvered himself so he’s straddling Ben’s thighs and he finds himself grinding down onto Ben’s quickly hardening cock. They’re both so caught up in the taste of each other they sink further into the couch. The moment they pull away for a second time Callum is already sliding down Ben’s body, his knees reach the floor and he’s reaching for Ben’s pants eagerly tugging them open and down. But he hesitates the moment he has Ben’s hard cock in his hand, panicking. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. He just knows he wants to make Ben feel as good as he felt that day in the alley.</p><p>Ben notices his sudden lack of movement and opens his eyes to look down at a frozen Callum.</p><p>“You don’t have to-” he starts to say, but Callum has already found his confidence, grabbing Ben’s cock in one hand as he licks a long, wet stripe from root to tip before slowly wrapping his lips around the head, and whatever thought process was going on in Ben’s brain melts away and his words slur into a long groan as his head flies back in pleasure.</p><p>Ben finds out rather quickly that what Callum lacks in experience he makes up for in enthusiasm as he tries (and fails) to take Ben further down his throat too quickly. He gags, chokes, and comes back up for air, spluttering for a moment before he dives right back in, undeterred by his failed first attempt. It drives Ben wild to see Callum hungrily swallowing him down, the determination in his actions addictive. He wants to be good for Ben. Callum’s second attempt is a lot more successful as he hollows his cheeks and dips down slower. He pushes that little bit further and breaths heavily against Ben’s stomach. Ben whines low and elongated as he feels the way Callum’s throat engulfs him completely.</p><p>Callum was made for sucking cock.</p><p>“God, that feels good Cal,” he encourages, placing both of his hands on Callum’s head, a slight guide in their force, but nothing too overbearing that Callum doesn’t still have complete control, “you’re doing so well- I’m not gonna last. You might wanna-”</p><p>Callum pulls up and off, panting heavily.</p><p>“I wanna taste you.” He says as his breathing calms down slightly, “But, I don’t think I’m ready for…” He pauses, cheeks reddening from embarrassment.</p><p>“That’s okay- we’ll take this at your pace.” Ben reassures him, and Callum smiles up from where he’s kneeling, his swollen, spit covered lips turn up in a shy smile. “Just- use your hand to finish the job, I’m close.”</p><p>Callum nods and gets back to work, giving one last lick along the slit and pumping his hand up and down Ben’s slick cock. It doesn’t take much for Ben to reach his peak and as soon as he does Callum helps Ben through by slowly draining him of every drop. His come drips down Callum’s hand and Ben slowly comes back to himself, and what he witnesses the moment he opens his eyes will live forever in his brain rent free.</p><p>Callum slowly brings his finger up to his lips and hungrily licks the remnants of Ben’s release from it and groans. And when he’s cleaned one finger he puts the second and third in his mouth and sucks. He eventually notices that Ben is watching him, a sort of fire burning in his eyes, and he ducks his head, embarrassed at being caught. But Ben doesn’t let him sink.</p><p>“Hey-” Ben tilts Callum’s chin up, “that was fucking hot, and if you hadn’t just made me blow my load I’d be raring to go again just from watching you enjoy yourself. You have no idea just how fucking gorgeous you are.”</p><p>Ben moves his hands around to the back of Callum’s neck, he leans down as Callum kneels up, and their mouths meet in the middle. He can taste himself on Callum’s tongue and he nearly grows hard again at the thought. The two part after they’ve had their fill and Ben starts tucking himself back into his pants. He eventually stands up to zip himself back up, and when he does he reaches behind to Callum to encourage him to stand. Callum takes his hand and lets himself be pulled up on shaky legs.</p><p>He’s about the break the silence when Callum beats him to it.</p><p>“I meant what I said that day in the alley- I want this, Ben. Want you. I just don’t know how to do that without hurting Whitney. I love her and she doesn’t deserve this.”</p><p>And Ben gets it, he really does. But he needs Callum to see sense. Needs to convince him to do the right thing. For Whitney, sure, but mostly for himself.</p><p>“But she don’t deserve to be with someone whose hearts not really in it either though, does she?” He finally decides on. Thinking if he goes for the guilt card, he might get through to Callum.</p><p>“No, I guess not.” Callum sighs. “I should get going.” He finishes lamely. Ben simply nods his head and turns away, not wanting Callum to see the disappointment on his face. But he turns back round the moment he hears the door open with just one thought on the tip of his tongue.</p><p>“Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” He forces out against his better judgement. </p><p>Callum must have heard <i>something</i> in his voice that prompted him back into the room because the next thing he knows he’s being pushed up against the desk and kissed within an inch of his life. Callum kisses him once more with feeling and pulls back, looking at him dazedly through his lashes.</p><p>“I can’t stay away from you even if I wanted to.”</p><p>And then he’s gone. Ben traces his finger over his bottom lip, wishing silently that Callum had stuck around to soothe the ache in his chest. But Callum ain’t ready for that sort of commitment yet. So he closes up, turns the lights off, and decides to wait for Callum to come back to him. </p><p>Until next time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Come and fangirl with me over on tumblr: laurenkmyers</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. tired of waiting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A continuation of the famous cheek kiss scene that was filled with all the sexual tension.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Callum said he couldn’t keep away from Ben, he’d meant it wholeheartedly, but trying to find time to be with Ben with everything going on on both ends was a nightmare. They’d only managed to find time for the odd secluded make-outs in dark corners, and quick heavy petting sessions in the dead of night, but between Whitney and the dreaded wedding and Ben’s family drama, they hadn’t really found time, or a convenient place, to really get hot and heavy with each other since last time.  </p><p>And before they knew it three weeks had passed and they were both so fucking desperate for each other that the lingering looks from across the street, the only interaction they could afford, wasn’t really cutting it anymore. They made solid plans to meet up when the dust settled. They finally had a spare minute to indulge in each other… when Callum’s dad showed up.</p><p>Granted, he had been called in on official wedding business in the hopes that things might be different now that Callum a beautiful redheaded woman on his arm, but the moment Jonno Highway had met Ben in the Vic and found out he was one of the scumbags Callum had been hanging around with he’d given Callum a right earful, throwing dirty words around and pushing him up against the wall by the scruff of the neck. Stuart had eventually intervened and scared him off, and then, like a perfect reflection of the past Jonno Highway had fucked off again, like a boozed up huff in the wind.</p><p>Stuart takes Callum to the café after that, to talk to him about family and the choices you make to be there for one another. Callum’s head is all over the place. The wedding is becoming a terrifying reality in front of him, his dad being the embarrassing drunk he’s always been hitting harder than he thought it would, and the idea of Stuart being forced to get aggressively defensive on his behalf once again flashes him back to his fucked up childhood. But, believe it or not, none of this matter more than the fact that all Callum can really think about is how much he misses Ben. He defended him without thought of consequence when his dad spat those filthy words about him. <i>He ain’t scum</i>, he’d said, and he meant it.</p><p>It makes him realise all too quickly just how much Ben actually means to him. A terrifying thought.</p><p>That’s when Callum spots the very man he’s been thinking about. He’s over by the entrance of Cokers leaning casually against the wall in that rough kind of way he does when he’s hanging about with purpose. It makes Callum’s heart jump in his chest and he takes a deep breath as he approaches.</p><p>“Daddy crawl back into his hole?”</p><p>Callum drops his head and sighs.</p><p>“He’s gone. Stuart, he uh- made him go.” Callum says, twiddling with his fingers. “He said a few things before he left. Did he almost…”</p><p>“What Callum?” Ben huffs back.</p><p>“I’m only asking what happened…”</p><p>“What d’you fink? He wanted to buy me a woo woo, grab a musical, take the whole thing back to mine.”</p><p>“That’s not funny” Callum mumbles back, shaking his head.</p><p>“Making a habit of this- your family, in’t they? Threatening me while I take a wazz.”</p><p>Callum rubs his hand across his mouth nervously and stutters, “Did he-“</p><p>“Tried to bottle me so I battered him…” Callum inhales sharply and turns his head away as Ben continues, “And then I stopped. Coz I didn’t want him to take it out on you.”</p><p>Callum immediately turns his head back to look into Ben’s eyes and what he sees there holds him captive. Ben’s gaze is so soft. It makes Callum want to step forward and kiss him, wrap him up in his arms and never let go, but mostly, it makes him want to apologise for all the wrong doings in the past, all the times he denied what this was between them, setting Stuart on him, his dad’s disgusting behaviour in the Vic, and so he does,<br/>
“I’m sorry.” But Ben won’t let him finish.</p><p>“Na don’t- don’t” he says, looking at Callum again, “ain’t your fault, is it?”</p><p>There’s a pause when they both look at each other before Ben abruptly changes the subject.</p><p>“So you were uh, choosing dresses for the wedding were ya? Helping him plan a little speech?”</p><p>And Callum’s gut drops again. Reality hits once more.</p><p>“He ain’t coming” he says, leaning up against the opposite wall in defeat. Ben scoffs. “Messed it up,” he sighs, “Just like I mess everything up. I just thought-”</p><p>“-He ain’t gonna do it y’know? Say the things or-or, do the things that you want.”</p><p>Callum pushes up off the wall, back a little straighter than before, “I don’t want nothing.”</p><p>Ben scoffs again, “Spent years telling myself that. Since I stopped caring- I mean- <i>really</i> stopped caring- see I don’t think you realise how much of what you do is trying to make that person happy. That- that person that couldn’t care less about ya.”</p><p>Callum’s defensiveness boils up inside him, but for all the wrong reasons and so he falters. All he can produce is a meek little, “He’s my dad.” Before Ben is in his face again with the hard facts.</p><p>“No! No, Callum- he ain’t.” Ben takes a few harsh breaths before laying it down, “he’s just some bloke that got ya mum pregnant.”</p><p>The sentiment sits heavy on both of their chests for a hairs breadth of a second before Ben is pushing off the wall and into his personal space. Ben lays a deliberate hand over Callum’s pounding heart and his whole body trembles under the touch. He panics for a moment that Ben will be able to feel the effect his proximity has on his traitorous body when Ben gets that serious look on his face again.    </p><p>“But you know what hurt more? More than my old man? More than his-his criticisms and the things that he used to say? Ben takes a sharp breath in; gearing himself up for the harsh truth Callum knows is about to come out of his mouth. Ben whispers the next line, like it’s a secret meant for only them, “was telling myself them things too. Telling myself that I was….dirty.” He grabs hold of Callum softly by the arm and leans further into him, “that who I was…was wrong.”</p><p>All Callum can hear is the harsh breath coming from Ben and he knows how much these words hurt him to admit out loud, and it knocks him sick, he sways on his feet trying to catch his own breath. The harsh reality in Ben’s words hit a little too close to home, make him want to run for the hills. He can’t even look at Ben anymore, it hurts too much. But he hears the next words loud and clear, despite the whispered tone,</p><p>“You don’t have to do this.”</p><p>And before he knows it Callum feels a pair of soft lips on his cheek, lingering sweetly for what feels like eternity. He hopes it never ends. But, like with anything good and proper in this world, it does end, and Ben is pulling away. The hand on the back of his neck drops down but Callum manages to catch it before it’s entirely out of reach. He feels Ben react instantly to the touch, caressing his thumb over the back of his hand. They stand still, staring into each other’s eyes as their hands continue their soft exploration.</p><p>Ben’s eyes eventually dip down to his lips and back up again. It sends a lightning bolt of desire up Callum’s spine and he in turn follows Ben’s tongue as it slowly swipes over his bottom lip. The tension shifts, and their hunger for one another becomes evident. The only thing that matters now is finding a place for them to be alone together. Their surroundings burst into a cacophony of noise and it breaks them out of their far-too-intimate-for-public-viewing moment.</p><p>“Take me somewhere?” Callum croaks out, and Ben nods.</p><p>“Follow me.” He replies, still holding Callum’s hand in his as he pulls him in the direction of the car lot.</p><p>Neither of them notices the hulking figure of Stuart Highway seething in their direction from behind one of the stalls. He eyes them furiously as they move quickly towards the cabin. Luckily for now, he turns away and storms off. <i>A problem for another day.</i></p><p>***</p><p>The moment the door of the cabin is shut and locked behind them Ben uses the momentum to shove Callum up against it, and like so many times before they’re colliding into one another’s mouths; licking, sucking, and biting their way into the only oblivion they know and trust right now. Ben slides his knee up into Callum’s growing erection and it breaks the spell of lust momentarily, forcing them apart to take a much needed breather.</p><p>Their foreheads lay together, despite their height difference, and their eyes stay closed as they savour the moment.</p><p>Callum breaks the silence, moving his head into the crook of Ben’s neck and nips at the soft spot behind his ear.</p><p>“Missed you.” He whispers, taking Ben’s ear lobe into his mouth and tugging lightly. “Missed this.” He says as he continues his path downward and latches onto Ben’s neck with his teeth, sucking little red marks into the skin and soothing it with his tongue. He can feel Ben tremble in his arms and it makes his heart ache for more. It drives him forward, no more coherent thoughts other than ‘naked’ and ‘Ben’ as he latches onto the front of Ben’s denim jacket and tugs it harshly down his arms. He tries to lift Ben’s t-shirt over his head, but is stopped by a hand to the chest.</p><p>“Take it easy, babe. You ain’t got somewhere else to be right now, have ya?” He asks, not really waiting for an answer as he slowly starts to undo the buttons on Callum’s shirt, one by one.</p><p>Callum watches helplessly as Ben works his shirt off, trembling at the way Ben’s thumb trails feather light over his chest the more of its revealed. He shakes his head in answer to Ben’s question.</p><p>“I’m all yours.” He groans audibly as Ben latches onto his exposed nipple in response to hearing those words. His nipple hardens immediately under Ben’s tongue, pebbling beautifully as Ben tugs at it with his teeth. After one last swirl of his tongue Ben pulls back to inspect his handy work.</p><p>“Good. Because I haven’t had you all to myself like this in nearly a month. Want to take my time with ya.”</p><p>Callum lets out a breath as Ben finally tears the shirt from his body and immediately heads towards his belt. He makes quick work of the belt and pops the top button, pulling at his zipper and slowly lowering himself as he drags Callum’s jeans down his legs. Ben nuzzles his head against his thigh and lays open-mouthed kisses down his kneecap until he’s gotten the offending garments completely out of the way. Callum kicks them off his feet and to the side, removing his shoes and socks along with them, leaving him completely exposed. There’s something daunting, but intoxicatingly powerful about standing completely naked in front of a fully clothed man on his knees.</p><p>Ben eyes him up and down, a sinful look in his gaze as he appreciates the hard cock bobbing in his eye-line. He stays on his knees and runs both hands up the outside of Callum’s naked legs, kissing his way back up to where Callum desperately wants him. But before he reaches that place where the upper thigh meets the hip, Ben stops. His admiration for Callum’s legs has always been apparent, <i>(I dream about those gorgeous thighs being wrapped around me most nights)</i> but they’ve never really had time to explore that fantasy- until now. He spreads Callum’s legs and tracing his tongue over the freckles decorating his inner thigh. He maps each and every one to memory, humming appreciatively as he goes.</p><p>Callum starts panting the closer Ben gets to his cock, which is throbbing hard with restless need under Ben’s ministrations. Ben, however, bypasses his cock completely and laps at his hip bone instead, and then slowly drags his lips over the soft part of his belly. Callum whines loudly; is at the mercy of Ben’s talented mouth, can do nothing but quiver at the hot breath being expelled over his naked body, and before Callum can even blink Ben is back on his feet and hauling him in for another messy kiss. He does eventually pull back and Callum groans at the loss of lips on his.</p><p>Ben lets out a hearty chuckle at Callum’s neediness, “And here I thought I was the insatiable one.” He appraises, mocking only in jest as he stands back just a little to appreciate the sight of a fully naked Callum in all his glory.</p><p>After a long minute, one in which Callum blushes prettily under Ben’s hungry gaze, Ben voices his praise: “God, look at you. You’re incredible Callum.”</p><p>Callum feels a little self-conscious now, despite his earlier thoughts. He’s completely naked and bare, and Ben has every item of clothing possible concealing his body, hidden away like forbidden treasure. That just won’t do, so with what little confidence Callum can muster he stalks forward in the hopes of revealing more of Ben to him, but he’s stopped with a cocky finger waving in his face.</p><p>“Nope,” Ben smirks, popping the ‘p’ sound dramatically as he steps further out of reach. Callum cricks his neck in annoyance, but Ben’s smirk deepens as he stands his ground.</p><p>“All things come to those who wait, Highway. You’ll get yours soon enough. Now get on the sofa.” Ben finishes with a tilt of his head in the direction of said sofa at the back of the cabin.</p><p>Callum never once thought that being bossed around could be this much of a turn on, and yet here he is, barely holding himself together because Ben is ordering him around in a deep authoritative voice that makes his legs weak. He walks on wobbly legs over to the sofa and sits down, spreading his thighs a little bit and blushing hot the moment he notices that Ben’s eyes have followed him the entire way with his hand now firmly gripping himself over his tightened trousers. In a sudden burst of self-confidence Callum sinks further into the sofa, grasps himself in one hand, and starts slowly moving his palm up and down.</p><p>Callum looks up and bites his lip, “See something you like, Ben?”</p><p>The hand that was previously gripping the front of Ben’s trousers tightens, his feet stutter forward, and Callum watches as Ben slowly blows out the breath he’d apparently been holding in this entire time.</p><p>“You’re a goddamn tease, Callum Highway.” He says dramatically, puffing out his chest as he lifts his shirt over his head. Not a minute later his trousers are around his ankles and he’s standing in front of Callum almost as gloriously naked as he is. Callum’s mouth waters as he watches with rapt enjoyment as Ben strips off the rest of his clothing in a show of power. Once he’s fully naked he turns towards the desk behind him, giving Callum a view of his perfectly rounded ass. His cock twitches in his hand.</p><p>Ben rummages through the drawer for a minute until Callum hears a click of his tongue and then a bottle of something is being chucked his way landing on the sofa next to him. He doesn’t even have time to pick it up and inspect the bottle before Ben is making his way over to him, swaying his hips slightly in a way that makes Callum feel dizzy with want. He’s got a condom dangling from his teeth as he slides himself onto Callum’s thighs, mounting him so gracefully with both hands on Callum’s broad shoulders. Their cocks glide together and they groan at the delicious friction.</p><p>Ben slips the condom from his lips and holds it out to Callum, a silent question. Callum gulps loudly at the implication as sweat beads on his forehead.</p><p>Ben notes his blown pupils and sweaty brow and pulls back slightly, “I want to feel you, Cal.” He says, dropping the condom on the sofa before tilting Callum’s chin up to look at him, “But only if you want it too. Your pace remember?” He smiles down at him sweetly, the face of the man he hides behind his rough exterior. It warms Callum’s heart to see this side of Ben. A softer edge to the persistent bad boy he projects on the regular. Callum’s nerves melt away and he places both hands on Ben’s lower back and tugs him further up his thighs so that there’s very little space left between their aching bodies.</p><p>“Yes. I want it.” He says, no hesitation in is actions now. He looks up at Ben quickly before dipping his head the moment he realises he doesn’t exactly know how to proceed from here. “But I-I don’t know what-”</p><p>“Don’t overthink things.” Ben reassures him with a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll do the prep. All you have to do is sit there and watch for now. Think you can do that pretty boy?” Callum nods and pulls Ben in for a kiss to let him know he’s ready. Their kisses stay soft and slow as they explore. Callum’s hands slowly dip lower on Ben’s back to cup his ass cheeks and Ben lets out a low grumble as Callum pulls them apart, exposing his most intimate area to the cool air of the cabin. It prompts Ben into action as he pulls away with one final tug of Callum’s lower lip. He leans over and picks up the bottle of what Callum has now guessed is lube, pops the lid and squirts a generous amount onto his fingers. He watches carefully as Ben pushes himself up Callum’s body so that he’s using Callum as his anchor, he reaches round and groans out loud the moment his first finger breaches his hole.</p><p>Ben is panting heavily in his ear as his finger pumps in and out. Callum’s own fingers grip tighter on Ben’s ass.</p><p>“K-keep them spread for me, Cal.”</p><p>A throaty moan hits Callum’s ear as Ben inserts a second finger and a wave of something buried deep rises up and hits Callum square in the chest. He recognises the feeling immediately for what it is: Jealousy. He’s jealous that he’s not the one making Ben moan like that, so he loosens the grip he has on Ben’s ass and slides a palm down, one destination in mind, and blindly feels around until he finds the slick entrance where Ben’s fingers are already buried pretty deep. He slowly nudges his own finger in beside Ben’s, which causes the other man to convulse in his arms and let out an elongated whine.</p><p>“Ca-llum” he stutters out, body shuddering as they both push deeper.</p><p>“I want to help.” Callum mumbles back with a fiery determination he never knew he possessed.</p><p>“Oh god…keep going,” Ben cries, almost incoherent now. “I’m nearly ready.”</p><p>Callum bites his lip in concentration, keeping up the rhythm Ben had, thankfully, set himself. He decides last minute to try something new and curls his finger upwards to widen the stretch a little, but when he does it causes Ben to jolt up so high and let out the loudest moan he’s ever heard. Callum immediately starts panicking as he feels Ben slump onto him, thinking he <i>must</i> have done something wrong. He slides his finger out and lifts Ben’s head up to try and read his expression.</p><p>“Are you okay?” He asks, “Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>Ben stays suspiciously quiet, which only makes Callum’s heart rate spike, until Ben sluggishly opens his eyes and a cute lazy grin spreads across his face.</p><p>“No such thing. But the fact that you managed to find my prostate on the first go bodes very well for us, Cal.” He chuckles, pulling his own fingers free and leans over to pick up the discarded condom from earlier. “I’m ready, babe. Need you now.”</p><p>Callum’s mouth goes dry, “Yes.” he nods.</p><p>Ben tears the corner of the condom wrapper with his teeth and spits it out over his shoulder before taking his time to roll it down Callum’s erect cock, and considering this is the first real touch of his neglected dick since they made it into the confines of the cabin, Callum marvels at his own willpower. The fact that he doesn’t immediately blow his load the instant Ben gets his hands on him shows more self-control than he ever thought he had. He wants this more than he’s wanted anything in his life. He’s finally found someone he craves more than air, and who seems to crave him just as much back.</p><p>He tries not to get all emotional and ruin things with weird sentiment so he distracts himself by sinking back into the sofa; just far enough that he can watch as Ben grabs him by the base, lifts up, and guides him where he needs him to go. The second Callum breaches Ben’s tight hole he loses all sense of reality. He follows Ben’s movements as if in a trance as he lowers himself onto Callum’s cock, rocking gently back and fourth as he adjusts to the width of the stretch. It’s almost otherworldly, the tight squeeze of Ben’s walls surrounding him in an intoxicating heat; enveloping him in a warmth that almost feels like coming home after a yearlong deployment.</p><p>Callum has never felt anything like this, never felt this at home in anyone’s arms before. He tears his eyes away from where he and Ben are connected only to find Ben has been watching him the entire time. His eyes wash over his face tenderly, <i>loving</i> almost. But he doesn’t let himself think too hard on that, too much to unpack there. He changes the angle and tests the waters by thrusting up and into Ben hard, who breaks eye contact to throw his head back in pleasure. The sensation sends a jolt up his legs and straight to his dick, so he plants his feet firmly on the ground and thrusts up again and again until Ben is sobbing above him.</p><p>Ben is relentless in his skilful hip movements, bouncing up and down on his lap one minute, with the occasional circular grinding motion the next. It takes Callum’s breath away. But he finds himself getting more and more worked up, not because he’s getting close, but because he can’t see Ben’s face, which is lost somewhere in the crook of his neck, gasping hotly against his collarbone.</p><p>Callum does a particularly hard thrust up to try and draw Ben’s attention, but when that doesn’t work he reaches up to grab at Ben’s hair, tugging his head up so that he can look at him. What he sees there makes him vibrate out of his skin. Ben’s cheeks are flushed, and his lips are kiss-swollen. He holds Callum’s gaze. He can see from the look in Ben’s eyes that he’s not far from the end. He wants to see Ben fall apart. Craves it more than anything. Wants to know that <i>he’s</i> the reason Ben is utterly fucked out.</p><p>“Don’t look away, Ben.” Callum hisses against his lips, resting his forehead against Ben’s and grabbing hold of his hips, slowing down the bouncing to encourage the grinding motion he knows Ben prefers. “Use me. Come on. I know you’re close.”</p><p>Ben loses his goddamn mind, he’s so fucking close to the edge, scared to fall, but Callum’s gaze grounds him; not once does he look away. He wraps his arms firmly around Callum’s neck and grinds himself harder on Callum’s cock until he hits that perfect angle, over and over again. He’s tempted to close his eyes and lose himself in the feeling, but Callum’s intense stare compels him to keep watching. He’s struck by the emotions he sees projected in Callum’s eyes, lust- definitely, but also something delicate and gentle underneath the passion. And ultimately that’s the tipping point that breaks him, that- and the fact that Callum is gripping his leaking cock and pumping him in time with his grinding motion. Ben runs his hands through Callum’s floppy hair and holds on tight until the very last second where he succumbs to the blissful ache in his core.</p><p>Ben’s grinding comes to a halt as he let’s go and Callum tenses inside of him. He can feel Ben squeeze him tight, before releasing him to collapse forward. It sends Callum toppling over the edge himself. Too sensitive to take much more, he bites down on Ben’s shoulder and releases inside the condom.</p><p>The two lay sprawled in a heap of sweat and limbs; desperately trying to catch their breath. Ben softly pets Callum’s sweaty mop of hair as Callum runs his palms up and down Ben’s back; both content to sit and breathe each other in. The minutes tick by and the sweat on their entwined bodies begins to cool down, prompting them to sit up.</p><p>Ben draws back and runs a hand through his own hair, “You sure you’ve never done this before?” He sighs; lifting himself up and off Callum with a groaned noise of displeasure as he falls unceremoniously to the sofa besides Callum. He leans up and places a quick kiss to Callum’s cheek and chuckles, “Because I can’t feel my bloody legs, but I’ll definitely be feeling your cock for at least a week after that.”</p><p>Callum peels the condom off his softening cock and ties it off on one end, chucking it into the bin that’s conveniently placed next to the sofa. He then turns his head to see Ben massaging his thighs and decides he’s not quite ready to be out of Ben’s space just yet, so he leans down and kisses him, silencing any more jokes that might try and pry their way out of Ben’s lips. Ben indulges him, opening up and letting Callum invade his personal space. He lands haphazardly on top of Ben and smiles warmly when Ben’s legs automatically wrap around his.</p><p>“Thought you said you couldn’t feel your legs?” Callum quips in amusement.</p><p>“I can’t!” Ben laughs as they do eventually flop back down to the sofa, the strain of holding them up too much.</p><p>Callum feels so content right now, snuggled against Ben’s bare chest, sticky dried come coating them both as they laugh about the useless limbs attached to Ben’s hips.</p><p>The moment doesn’t last long though as reality washes over them in the form of a shrill ringing sound that hits their ears. Callum scrambles up off of Ben, accidentally kneeing him in his haste to get up. He jumps up and walks over to the door where his jeans are tangled up in a pile. He finds his phone eventually, vibrating loudly on the cold, hard floor. Callum takes one look at the caller ID and sighs.</p><p>
  <i>Whitney Calling…</i>
</p><p>“Straight back to the Mrs, then I guess?” Ben scoffs from behind him as he bends down to pick up his discarded boxers pulling them up his legs and searching immediately for his shirt.</p><p>“I’m sorry Ben, I’ve gotta-”</p><p>“-Go, yeah. I know the drill by now.”</p><p>“Ben- that’s not… I’m mean… I want to stay.”</p><p>“Then <i>stay</i>, Callum.”</p><p>Callum takes a sharp inhale of air, his eyes plead with Ben to understand. “I can’t.” He sighs, “You know I can’t.”</p><p>Ben shakes his head defiantly. “Not can’t. <i>Won’t.</i> There’s a difference.”</p><p>“But Whitney-”</p><p>“-Will still be at home waiting for you in an hours time. She ain’t gonna suspect anything. Stay with me for a bit longer, yeah? I’ve got some booze in the drawer. We can hang out? Get to know each other with our clothes <i>on</i> for a change.”</p><p>Callum goes silent as he contemplates the thought of spending more time with Ben, it’s a tempting offer. But the guilt continues to churn dangerously in his gut. It’s eating him up. He paces up and down the cabin for a bit and looks over at Ben when his mind is made up. Ben hasn’t moved a muscle since he laid out the offer on the table, but the second their eyes meet he knows that Ben has seen the decision the second he made it. He hangs is head and sighs.</p><p>“Just go, Callum.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Ben, I-”</p><p>“Don’t. Just leave.” He says with a tone of finality. Callum wants to step forward and claim one final kiss from Ben’s lips, but his fear of rejection stops him, so he simply turns and walks out the door.</p><p>And Ben’s left alone again, wondering how many more times he’s going to willingly let himself be used like this. How many times will he be left waiting for Callum to come back to him?</p><p>He’s getting kind of tired of waiting.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come and fangirl with me on tumblr: laurenkmyers</p></blockquote></div></div>
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